We are all in a process of figuring out who we are and where we fit in in our world. When I look at myself in middle school I remember how dependent I was on other people's affirmation of what kind of music to like, what to wear, and what to be interested in. I wanted to be interesting, unique, fun, and yet I wanted to make sure I was interesting, unique and fun by others standards. When we walk around trying to figure out who we think others want us to be we lose so much of who we were made to be and it's SO exhausting! I think we've all gone through this kind of phase, and unfortunately many of us still struggle with this and may struggle with it for the rest of our lives. I don't think we will ever figure everything about our who we are but we get to be on this discovery of what we're interested in, what were passionate about, and what brings life to us. It has been a long time coming but it was my prayer and still is that I would be a very consistent person. Now, this doesn't mean that I live a mundane, routine kind of life but what I mean is that I am consistently staying true to who I am in every situation; no matter who I'm with. I'm not going to pretend that I've "made it to the top of the mountain" but I can see how far I have come and how much more comfortable I am in my own skin. I have to stay grounded and level headed and to do that I MUST have time to myself, in peace, alone, in the stillness. In these quiet times is when I am able to reflect on my day. It has always been a goal of mine to become a great journal-er and I am proud to say that I think I'm making some sort of progress. I think for us to be able to perceive ourselves and to present ourselves in a positive, consistent manner we have to know who we are and I think we figure those things out in those times of rest. We also learn a lot about ourselves as we get ourselves in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations. I think those are the times we learn a lot about who we truly are and what our friends a truly about. Those times of being unsure are defiantly not always the most beautiful times but I believe that they are needed and they may be the most honest times.
With all of that said I am working first and foremost to genuinely perceive myself in a way that is reflecting to the things I stand upon; my faith. And through that I will be able to effectively let other people know who I am, what I'm about, my strengths and weaknesses. Even though, for most of us, it is scary to allow those around us to truly get to know how we work we must recognize that we were each created so differently and that is such a good thing. We have each been given different skill sets and different talents because if we were all walking around being good at the same thing, talking the same ways, having the same hair or being the same height, our world would look a lot less beautiful and we would have a lot less purpose.
When did you struggle the most with fighting with yourself about who you are?
What influenced those feelings the most?
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